


Imagine Heroes

by You_Light_The_Sky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Slash, avengers as little kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 06:44:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5280689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/You_Light_The_Sky/pseuds/You_Light_The_Sky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain America was a game made up for him and Stevie only. And then Stupid Tony Stark came along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Imagine Heroes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [biscuitlevitation](https://archiveofourown.org/users/biscuitlevitation/gifts).



> Thank you to Enter21 for putting up with my whining as i tried to write this.
> 
> This fic is based on a prompt given by biscuitlevitation asking for little kid bucky and steve, with jealous bucky when little tony takes little steve's attention away.
> 
> Warnings: probably ooc characters. I regret nothing.

“Hey, Stevie, let’s play a game,” Bucky says one day, when Steve is too sick to think of getting out of bed and Bucky can’t stand seeing his guy so miserable. Bucky had to crawl through the window again just to get his Steve time and insisted on cuddling with Steve despite the germs. Ma always says that Bucky has an immune system of steel so it’s fine!

“M’can’t really move, Buck…” Steve sniffs, hiding his face in his pillows.

Bucky frowns and hugs him closer. He doesn’t like it when Steve hides his face. “Aww, you don’t have to move or anything! It’s a pretend game. We pretend to be pirates or ninjas or something. Maybe even those jedi you like so much!”

He can tell that he has Steve’s interest because Steve shifts back to face him, his eyes shy but the smile very there on his face. It warms Bucky’s heart because Steve only ever smiles like that at _him_ and no one else.

“…Okay, what are the rules?”

“Dunno. It’s pretend. Like a role-play or something. I could be your partner in crime, your fellow knight. Or maybe I save you from the dragon!”

Steve wrinkles up his nose. “The poor dragon.”

“Oh,” Bucky puts a dramatic fist against his chest, “you wound me, Stevie. Picking a dragon over your dashing knight?!”

Steve laughs so much, his eyes start to water and he has to calm his breaths so that he doesn’t stress his lungs. Bucky wants to kick himself for making Steve cough again so he rubs Steve’s back and whispers that everything will be fine. No wonder Mrs. Rogers never wants Bucky around when Steve’s like this, Bucky doesn’t know his limits. At this rate, Bucky wouldn’t be surprised if Steve had an asthma attack because Bucky made him laugh too hard and then it’d be Bucky’s fault his friend lost a lung.

(No. Never. He’s keeping Stevie close forever.)

“…hear me, Buck?”

“Huh?” his head snaps up, “What’d you say?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Said I wouldn’t mind it if you picked. M’not the storytelling type. More of the artist guy.”

 _That’s not true_ , Bucky wants to protest but it kind of is. Steve is a shit liar. Guy can’t even make up an excuse for not doing his homework (even though he has legitimate excuses like severe illness, the teachers still don’t cut him any slack.) If he has to hide something, he’ll stay quiet or change the topic. But when Steve draws, Bucky always feels a piece of his soul decide to leave him and live in Steve’s pictures because they’re that real, even at eight years old.

He loves looking at Steve’s drawings, loves how kind Steve is and how the little punk always laughs at his jokes and doesn’t think Bucky is weird like the rest of the class does. Even if it scares him half to death, he even loves how Steve will run headfirst into a fight, standing up for the weak, even if he’ll get punched in turn (with Bucky following after.) Steve is like… his hero, honestly, but he knows that Steve would never agree on that opinion except…

“Let’s play heroes,” Bucky brightens. Because it’s perfect. Because Steve would make the greatest superhero ever.

Steve’s mouth falls open. “What? But—”

“No, really! We can be partners in crime, well partners in saving the world! I could be… uh…” he needs to think of something cool, something that would protect and help Steve’s character, “the Winter Soldier! And you could be… um…” he can’t pick something lame or Steve will never agree, “Captain America!”

Steve stares at him. “Really, Bucky? Captain America?”

Bucky blushes. “What? You’re the best guy in the country. So… Captain America. There.”

He hopes that Steve agrees. Steve needs to have more fun. More reasons to smile. It can’t be good, trapped in this white room all day (sometimes Bucky wishes he was grown-up already, so he could take Steve and they’d both run away together to a place where there’s no sickness or mothers-that-don’t-come-home or stupid-uncles. Sometimes Bucky wishes it was only him and Steve.)

Steve just shakes his head, a grin and cough bubbling in this throat. “Not saying m’gonna play but… what happens next?”

Bucky grins. _Yes_. “Well, we fight crime, of course! Oh, and we can travel in space! And the bad guys can have all the corny names like _Red Skull_ and _Ultron_. We can fight aliens and robots too!”

“Hey, slow down, what happened before that?! How’d we become Captain America and Winter Soldier in the first place?”

“Oh, um,” good point there, “well, we met a long time ago… um…”

“—when we were defending someone from bullies,” Steve decides to add.

“Yeah!” Bucky ruffles Steve’s hair, “And then we just hit it off, just like real life, and found out we went to the same school… oh and there was a war! And maybe the government was recruiting and…”

“—we decided to volunteer, because we couldn’t do nothing—”

“Exactly! See? You got the hang of this already! And I wouldn’t leave you, because they wouldn’t recruit the two of because, um, I had no arm and you were sick and all but we kept trying and trying but one day a scientist named, uhhh… help me out, Stevie, what’s a good name?”

“Ah…. How about Pastor Erskine?”

“Ooo, yes, our Pastor-as-mad-scientist, I like it…! So Pastor Erskine sees how stubborn we are, but more importantly, he sees how _you_ stand up for people and he’s like—”

“And how _you’ve_ always got my back,” Steve says which warms Bucky so much that he just has to hug Steve closer so that his face is buried in his hair.

“Yeah,” Bucky says softly. “Till the end of the line.”

He can feel Steve swallow nervously before pale hands decide to embrace Bucky in return. “That’s what makes you good, Buck. That’s why… that’s why Mr. Erskine gives us a chance.”

“Yeah,” Bucky closes his eyes, breathing Steve in. “Exactly.”

-

The stupid phone won’t shut up and his goddamn uncle is the only one home but too lazy to pick it up. Bucky is ready to hurl the damn thing across the room when he picks it up but lights up when he sees the number.

“Steve?” he breathes.

“…Bucky…?” his Steve’s voice comes out all frail and small and _not right_.

“What’s going on? Did something happen?” Bucky jumps up, pulling some boots on. “I’ll be right over!”

A choked sob answers him.

“Steve? Stevie, talk to me!” Bucky gropes around for his keys, where are his damn _keys_?!

“It’s… it’s mom. She’s… she’s really sick.”

Bucky tries not to scream or curse at the universe for throwing more shit into Steve’s life. He hates fate. Hates bacteria and damn illnesses and rotten luck. Hates himself because there’s a sick part of him that’s glad it’s not Steve this time.

“Call the hospital. I’ll be right over, Cap.”

Steve lets out a choked laugh, all bitter and wrong. “No times for games, Buck.”

“Got you to laugh, didn’t I?”

Steve doesn’t say anything to that. But he doesn’t hang up either.

Bucky just closes his eyes. He could listen to Steve breathe for hours (he has) but there’s no time for that. Steve needs his soldier.

-

He first meets Steve when he accidentally throws a ball through Steve’s window. There were a bunch of assholes who refused to let a street kid like him play (not that Bucky really is a street kid. He has a mom and an uncle. A stupid, alcoholic uncle. But he swears he won’t be like that. _Never_.) The ball was being hit back and forth until it flew over to Bucky’s corner and Bucky, eager to prove himself, hit the baseball with the nearest object (an abandoned tennis racket) and it flew through a second-story window with a thundering crash.

The rest of the kids scatter (traitors) and Bucky stares up at the window in half-fear and defiance.

He hears loud coughing. Sees a small hand flutter up at the window’s ledge before the window is pushed up, bits of glass glittering down as the window scrapes against the wall. Some dust floats down, like a cloud of fog on the house and Bucky hears more faint coughing from above. Finally, a pale face pokes out, his floppy blond hair striking in the daylight.

“Hey,” the little guy calls out with a rasp to his voice. He even squints and it’s kind of cute. “Did you lose this?” he holds up the baseball.

Bucky can’t help but hunch his shoulders together, prepared for the inevitable glares or berates. “Yeah. What about it?”

The little guy laughs. And coughs, voice still wheezy, “That was a nice throw! Do you play like that for your team all the time?”

Bucky can’t help but let his jaw drop before he grins back. “Nah, I’m too good for them! Sorry about the window!”

“It’s cool,” the little guy coughs again, but he’s smiling and Bucky thinks his eyes are very blue. “Nice breeze. Could use the fresh air. Here’s your ball back.”

He tries to throw it. He really does, with a concentrated furrow to his brow and puffed up cheeks, but the ball only drops down to his lawn. His pout is so endearing, Bucky bursts out laughing.

“Hey, I could do better!” the little guy insists.

“I’m sure, I’m sure,” Bucky wipes his eyes, going over to jump the fence. He saunters across the grass and picks up the baseball, heart racing. Maybe this kid will talk to him more, even play ball with him unlike the others! Bucky swallows down the nervous pounding of his heart and asks, “Hey, wanna come play ball?”

“Ah,” the little guy looks conflicted. “Sorry. I can’t. M’sick. Not supposed to come out.”

“Oh,” Bucky’s shoulders droop. He should have known. He heard the coughing, after all. Well, at least the little guy has an actual excuse unlike the fake ones everyone else gives all the time.

“But, um,” the little guy’s voice interrupt Bucky’s rather depressing thoughts, “you could come in if you want? Help me clear the glass? Um. Hang out?”

Warmth floods into Bucky’s chest and he blurts out, “A-are you s-sure?”

“Wouldn’t be asking, If I wasn’t.”

Bucky doesn’t hesitate in racing to the little guy’s door.

It takes a while but he hears steps running towards the door, then sees the little guy’s beaming face when he opens it. “Hey,” he says, hand stretched out. “I’m Steve.”

“Bucky.”

They’re inseparable after that.

-

Steve tells Bucky to meet him in the hospital, the wails of the ambulance nearly drowning out his voice. Bucky reaches the hospital twenty minutes later, panting and probably looking deranged in his pyjamas and boots.

Nurses try to stop him as he goes for the elevator. Bucky doesn’t bother telling them he’s here to see Mrs. Rogers. What if they kick him out for not being blood? He’s seen enough movies to know how _that_ would work out. Thank god Steve had some sense to tell Bucky what floor they’re on or Bucky would be running through every floor of the hospital, rules be damned.

The elevator dings and Bucky jumps out, looking everywhere for familiar floppy blond hair—

“Steve!” Bucky rushes over for a hug only to find _someone else_ by Steve’s side.

Someone who Steve is scowling at. Someone who made Steve’s ears an interesting shade of red.

“Who the hell are you?” Bucky moves between them. Anyone who makes Steve that angry must be a bully.

“Whoa, whoa, I was just talking! Geez, Rogers, didn’t know you had a guard dog,” the other kid smirks.

Bucky narrows his eyes.

“Don’t call Bucky that,” Steve hisses, moving around Bucky so he can glower at the other kid again.

The other kid shrugs, “Whatever. So are you gonna join my club or what? We have cheeseburgers all the time. And our own go-kart track.”

What is even…?

“Stark, I told you I don’t have time right now. I got school and now Ma’s sick and you know I get sick a lot—”

“Wait,” Bucky grabs Steve’s hand, “you mean, that’s _Tony Stark_?! Howard Stark’s _son_?!”

“What if I throw in mac and cheese too? Rhodey wants to see you and Romanoff and Barton will be there. Bruce too! Even Thor! Everyone loves Thor!” Stark goes on, ignoring him.

“Yeah, we’ve met at the hospital a few times when I was too sick,” Steve murmurs to Bucky.

“What?!” Bucky squeezes his hand, “When?!”

Bucky’s been there _every_ time Steve is sick. They tell each other everything.

“Before I met you,” Steve says while Stark grumbles, “Hello?! I am here too!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, Tony,” Steve rolls his eyes.

“Ha! Got you to say my name!”

“ _Oh my god Tony,_ ” Steve’s ears go red again and that’s not fair because Steve’s ears have never done that for Bucky. “ _It’s not that big a deal._ ”

“Sure it is! We haven’t seen each other in months! A year even! Last time, you nearly punched my eye out—”

“—you were being an ass—”

“ _Gasp,_ Saint Steve swore! Where’s JARVIS when you need him? He could have recorded this beautiful moment. Our baby is growing up—”

“—and didn’t we just decide to play nice after that whole Loki incident died down with you and your… club because, I dunno, you had a change of heart?”

“Hey, don’t lay the blame on me, I’m not that bad…Okay, well, I am. Occasionally. A lot. But you’re a hot headed little shit too—”

Bucky grits his teeth, the urge to throw a punch at Tony growing. Steve might be a little shit sometimes, but he’s _Bucky’s_ little shit and…!

“Well if you hadn’t talked about my mother…”

“See? Classic ‘your mom’ jokes! We’re practically besties already!”

 _What_ , Bucky is ready to shout—

“I already have a best friend. His name is Bucky and we’ve been rudely ignoring him,” Steve scowls, stepping closer to Bucky’s side, his step like a breeze rearranging the universe again.

But freaking Tony has to ruin the moment by giving Bucky a dismissive look over and shrug. “Yo.”

Bucky grits his teeth but smiles for Steve’s sake. “S’up.”

He refuses to break eye contact first as they shake hands, nails digging into each other’s skin.

“Well,” Tony grins like a shark, “I’m probably late for my hair appointment. See you around Steve,” he throws his arms around Steve and Bucky just wants to yell ‘no’, “Barney.”

“It’s _Bucky_!” he calls after him.

Tony gives him the finger. Bucky would do the same if Steve wasn’t already groaning about how immature Tony is.

“Sorry about that,” Steve says, “Tony can be a bit of a jerk.”

“Never mind that,” Bucky says, lighter now that the annoyance is gone, “how are _you_. How’s your mom?”

Steve says nothing, only lets himself lean against Bucky, tired and hollow like Tony took the fight out of Steve when he left.

“I’ve got you,” Bucky tells him, because that’s the only true thing he can offer. “I’ve got you, Stevie,” he hugs him tight.

-

Apparently they go to the same school but didn’t know it because Steve’s always absent for health reasons. Bucky’s never been one for homework but since then, he’s always volunteering to bring schoolwork to Steve’s house so they can work on it together and Bucky’s made sure to pay extra attention in class so he can retell the lessons (much better and with more jokes) to Steve. They play board games and read books out loud and Bucky brings his video games sometimes so that Steve won’t be an uneducated child living under a rock.

Honestly, it’s sad how often Steve gets to leave the house. Bucky finds himself bringing home bits of Brooklyn into Steve’s room. They decorate the wall with more than Steve’s sketches—posters of the Dodgers baseball team and Star Wars, Lord of the Rings quotes and comic book pages. Bucky searches for the most interesting stories to retell to Steve and see him laugh. He feels like a knight, sometimes, on a journey to find the greatest of tales to retell to his beloved. But then Bucky blushes at that thought because boys can’t be like that (right?)

The rare days that Steve gets to go to school, Bucky practically bounces on his feet, walking Steve back and forth to school. Lunchtime is awesome because Steve always sits with Bucky no matter what the other kids say and Bucky will throw gum at anyone who talks trash about his friend. Steve’s nicer about the bullying. He’ll just throw paper airplanes at the ones who mutters about Bucky and act innocent when they ask if Steve is messing around with them.

On those days, it doesn’t matter if the teachers think Bucky is a troublemaker or most of his classmates avoid him. He’s got Steve, and school is awesome because Steve doodles on all of their notes with jokes and comic book figures. Steve falls asleep a lot which gives Bucky the excuse of elbowing him and then they lean on each other during PE.

Teachers begin to warm up to Bucky too because of Steve. They see how Bucky hooks his arm around Steve’s shoulders, see how Bucky fusses over Steve’s scrapes and makes sure he’s wearing enough layers. They begin to joke that Bucky and Steve are joined to the hip and Bucky feels smug that everyone recognizes that Steve will always be with him. Part of Bucky is afraid he’ll wake up and Steve will be gone and Bucky will be alone again. But a year passes and it’s like Steve and Bucky have known each other all their lives.

Except Steve still gets sick. Still has asthma and weak bones and allergies to almost everything. And one month, he gets worse.

-

Steve’s mom has a lung infection. A really bad one.

Bucky holds Steve tight when the doctor tells them. “She’ll have to stay here for treatment for a few days. Do you have any other guardians?” the doctor asks, “Anyone else we can call to take care of you?”

Steve only shakes his head, eyes wet, face tight as stone.

“Your father—”

“Might as well be dead.”

The doctor fumbles with his pen, searching desperately through documents for answers or maybe an instruction manual on how to talk to kids with tragically dying moms and missing bastard fathers. Bucky almost wishes Steve’s dad really was here, just so he could punch him in the face. At least Bucky’s dad was a decent guy before he got into an accident.

“I’ll stay here. At least until she’s well enough to go home. That’s okay, right?” Steve’s hands tighten against his jeans.

“You can stay—” _with me_ , Bucky is about to say before the doctor slams a paper up in triumph and says, “Ah, your mother signed for Howard Stark to take you in, in case of emergencies.”

Bucky feels like his heart spat out into red chunks on the floor because _what_ , how does Mrs. Rogers know _the Howard Stark_ and does this mean that Steve will be spending every day with _that shark Tony_ , no, no, no, this is not a good idea, nope!

But the doctor is already calling Stark and Steve only slumps in defeat and Bucky wishes he was grown up already so he could take them both away from all this.

-

It’s the first time that Mrs. Rogers says Bucky can’t see Steve and Bucky wants to push past her and go to him anyways.

But Mrs. Rogers crosses her arms and shakes her head, “I’m sorry, Bucky. But he’s got a bad bout of flu and he didn’t want you to catch it so you’ll have to come back next week…”

“No, I wanna see him now!”

Steve’s been sick before but never _this_ sick. Never so much that Bucky couldn’t see him. Bucky needs to see Steve for himself, check to see that his guy is still real.

“I’ve got iron lungs, my ma said so! I’ll be fine, just let me see him, just for a moment!”

Her face softens for a bit, and Bucky sees where Steve gets his smiles from, before she leans down so that they are eye-level. “I’m sorry, Bucky, he really wants to see you too. But he wants you to be healthy and as a nurse, I agree with him. This flu is serious business. We’ll give you a call when he’s better but for now, you shouldn’t come by.”

“But—”

“Please.”

Bucky pauses and looks at her, really looks at Mrs. Rogers. More lines haunt her eyes and her skin seems dry and parched for water. Even her eyes seem duller and her hair is messy, unkempt, swept away by worry.

Ma would scold Bucky for bothering a lady who’s going through a rough time and Steve would never forgive Bucky for upsetting Mrs. Rogers.

“…Alright, I’ll go.”

He comes back every day to check in with Mrs. Rogers.

Yet every time she turns him away with more tired eyes, Bucky’s mind invents strange symptoms to explain Steve’s absence. Maybe Steve’s been bitten by a rare bug that will infect by the touch. Maybe Steve’s been unable to eat for days because he keeps throwing up. Maybe Steve’s dying and Bucky doesn’t know because Steve’s the kind of punk who would die without telling anyone because he doesn’t want to worry them and no, no, no, that can’t happen—

By the third day, though, Bucky decides he’ll see Steve no matter what.

-

“Ah, there you are, you little tyke. Damn, you’re skinny. What’s Sarah been feeding you? Jarvis, go order up some more lunchboxes at the mansion, would you? Don’t want the press to think I’m starving Sarah’s kid. Oh and set up the guest room and buy him another wardrobe. Kid looks like an orphan from one of Dicken’s novels,” Howard says immediately, talking more to his cell phone then Steve or Bucky.

Steve’s grip on Bucky’s arm is so tight, Bucky is surprised they’re still two separate people.

There wasn’t a lot of time for Steve and Bucky to talk after the doctor got a hold of Howard Stark. Steve quickly told Bucky that Howard was apparently a high school friend of his mom’s and that he sent money whenever Steve was sick (but Sarah would usually mail it back unless money was tight.)

“I’ve never met him before. And Tony? I just met him a year or two ago. He started showing up at the hospital because his dad wouldn’t stop talking about me or something,” Steve had frowned, “no idea why though. Kind of creepy for his dad to be obsessed with another kid when he already has one.”

Now, looking at Howard, Bucky imagines the man keeping little kids in jars, all dressed up for the press but leaving them on the shelf to starve.

“I don’t like him,” Bucky whispers.

“Me neither,” Steve tries to say, but Howard yanks him away before Bucky can say anymore.

The last thing he sees of Steve is his sad wave from the limo window until Stark’s limo is swallowed by the city.

Bucky knows it’s selfish but he prays for Mrs. Rogers to get better just so he can see Steve at his house again and away from Tony Stark.

-

He throws a rock up at Steve’s window, just like in the movies. He misses the first two times (so much for his career as a pitcher) but after the next five tries, he sees Steve open the window with a groggy expression on his face. “Wh… what is it?” he rubs his eyes before brightening when he sees Bucky. “Hey! Wh-what are you doing here?”

“To see you!” Bucky hisses. He looks over at the tree. It looks sturdy enough. “Stay right there, Stevie, I’m gonna climb up!”

“Bucky, _no!_ ”

But nothing’s stopping Bucky, not even Steve, from making sure that his kid is okay. He climbs the trees long limbs easily (they didn’t call him a monkey for nothing, at school) and then crawls through Steve’s window to throw his arms around his favourite person.

Only for said person to shove him away while exploding into a coughing fit.

“Oh my god,” Bucky says at first, frozen in place as if _he’s_ the one dying of no air. But he can’t move and Steve looks so pale, washed out, that Bucky doesn’t know what else to do.

Steve stumbles away and starts to fumble towards his water bottle, gulps it down with trembling fingers. “S-sorry,” Steve coughs again, “M’not up for company right now. Y-you should g-go home, B-bucky.”

Those words snap Bucky back to reality. “No way, Steve! Look at you, who knows if you’re gonna collapse on the spot or not—”

“—Gee, _thanks_ Bucky,” he ignores Steve’s glare.

“—I haven’t seen you in three days! I just want to make sure you’re okay, Steve.”

“M’not an invalid, Bucky,” Steve crosses his arms, not menacing enough with his small frame.

“I know you’re not!” Bucky’s hands twitch to hug Steve again but he knows Steve would just glare more. Steve hates being treated different because of his health. Bucky knows this. But he just—

“I missed you, Stevie. I just wanted to see you.”

Instantly, Steve’s shoulders slump down, looking more exhausted then Bucky’s ever seen before. Bucky panics, for a moment, wishing he could take his words back but then, ever so quietly, he hears, “...yeah, missed you too, Buck.”

He can’t help it. He throws his arms around Steve and Steve grumbles, “You better not hog my blankets. Don’t blame me if you’re all sick tomorrow.”

“I won’t.”

Bucky doesn’t get sick though (he never does, thanks to his Ma’s genes) and when Steve tries to be irritable about it, Bucky only tickles him until he laughs (but never too much for Steve to cough).

No one tries to separate Bucky from Steve when he gets sick again.

-

Steve doesn’t come to school for a week. The teachers whisper in worry to each other about the poor Rogers boy. Probably sick again, they say. Got a call from his guardian, they say. Bucky bristles and stomps to the classroom, sick of people talking about Steve as if they know him.

He’s never gone so long without seeing Steve before (except that one time Steve was really sick) and he can’t help but wonder if Steve has enough blankets at night or who is telling Steve stories now (he thinks of Tony and he kicks a pop can, as if _Tony_ knows as good stories as Bucky!)

Everywhere he walks, he thinks _Steve would love this_ and tries to memorize the colours of the leaves in autumn, the flashy colours of new toys in the store so he can retell it to Steve later. He even spots a wooly beanie hat, all crocheted with a star in the middle of blue and red circles that screams _Captain America_ and can’t help but buy one, hoping to give it to Steve later.

Steve, thank god, calls Bucky every day to give him updates on his mom.

“Mr. Stark says he’s paying for Ma’s treatment, he got her a private doctor and everything! I read to her every time I visit, I want to make her a card too but I don’t know what she’d do with it in the hospital… the doctors say she should be out in a few more days.”

“Are you okay?” Bucky asks him every time. _Are you coming back? To school? To me?_

“Just not feeling too good. Docs at Tony’s place say it’s because I might have caught some of the infection too. Tony thinks I’m just feeling sick because Ma is.”

“Well then you should get to the hospital!” Bucky jumps, “What does Tony know?! You could get a lung infection too!”

“Bucky, I’m okay,” Steve tells him each time. “Tony makes sure to get me to a doctor every morning. It’s a bit annoying but nice of him.”

 _Does Tony get you enough water to drink? Does he have cooler games for you to play on his playstation? Better books or jokes?_ Bucky wants to ask.

“That’s great, Stevie,” he says instead.

The dial tone is starting to sound like his heart.

-

Being the Winter Soldier is so much fun. Bucky loves acting like a lone wolf and roleplaying different ridiculous plots that has Steve either snorting in laughter (“You died and got resurrected from the dead _four times_ already, Buck!”) or reaching out in concern (“You can’t get _brainwashed_ by Hydra! That’s awful!”) But Bucky understands a good story and he loves dropping into the latest voice or role just to see Steve’s eyes light up in tune with his acting.

Something about acting just makes Bucky’s heart calm. He can be someone else and even if he’s trying to feel their pain, at least it’s not the shit he feels when he’s at home. He can be brave if he wants to. He can be cool and have Steve’s impressed eyes on him.

Steve, on the other hand, is terrible at acting. He has a good poke face from time to time but when he has to roleplay as someone he thinks is supposed to be a macho perfect hero (“Steve, you really don’t understand the purpose of Captain America, do you?” Bucky rolls his eyes) he just... freezes up. His movements become like a doll’s, stiff and constrained and Bucky has to elbow Steve gently with a smile.

“Just be yourself,” he says.

“But Captain America—”

“Ignore all of that crap. These guys are basically us. Cool, super versions of us so let’s just be _us_.”

Steve just stares at him. “Right. Because being brainwashed is definitely who you are.”

 _Damn it Steve_. “I like to be dramatic. Just play along with what I do, act like yourself. I won’t mind. I like _you_ better than the _you_ that you’re trying to be in your head.”

Steve’s eyes get ridiculously shiny and Bucky tries not to preen for the rest of their game.

-

“Do you wanna come over?” Steve says on Friday and Bucky almost trips over the mattress.

“Mr. Stark won’t mind,” Steve adds quickly when Bucky’s too shocked to answer. “Well, he’s hardly here but, I mean—”

“What about Tony?” Bucky is proud that he keeps all poison out of his voice. Steve doesn’t deserve to hear that.

“Oh, he’s out playing with that Avengers club he made up—”

“He left you _home alone?!_ ”

“…M’still not feeling well, and I’m not _alone_ , there’s Jarvis too—”

“A _butler_ , great, I feel so secure. Give me fifteen minutes, I’ll be right over!”

“ _My hero_ ,” Steve laughs before Bucky hangs up, grabs Steve’s gift, and help but skip down the stairs—as if there are wings on his feet—imagining more adventures that the Winter Soldier can pull Steve into.

-

“I’ve never seen Rogers giggle so much in class,” their teachers start to smile. Most of them excuse the hushed jokes and doodles that Bucky and Steve pass around in class. Notes about their game. Their Captain America and Winter Soldier. Soldier and Cap. Even when grumpy old Mr. Lee confiscates their notes, they write their dialogue in code and try not to smile when Mr. Lee struggles to decode the message.

Even Mrs. Rogers stares at Bucky and Steve in wonder sometimes. Every smile Steve makes seems to make her still and grateful all at once. “Whatever you get up to with Steve when he’s sick… well, I’m glad,” she tells Bucky one day and Bucky’s face is red but pleased for hours after.

“I’ll always look after ‘im, ma’am,” Bucky salutes.

“I might start holding you to that.”

-

Seeing the Stark family’s mansion in real life is different from television. Living in New York has Bucky used to tall buildings but somehow, looking at Tony Stark’s home feels like staring into the jaws of a kraken. Bucky doesn’t usually feel smaller than he is (seriously, he can’t _wait_ to be tall) but this house, this place, makes him feel like a bug.

“Mr. Barnes?” an old man in a suit greets him at the gate. “I am Jarvis, the family’s butler. Young Steven is expecting you. I will escort you to his room.”

All Bucky can do is nod and follow aimlessly up to the door.

“How is Steve holding up,” Bucky blurts out when they’re going up the longest staircase he’s ever seen (what is this? The Middle Ages?) and the silence and the vast walls echo inside his bones, make him want to shrink back and run. “Did he take his medicine yet? Sometimes he’ll skip or forget, so you have to make sure, but don’t be mean about it or he’ll refuse.”

He sees Jarvis hide a smile behind his hand.

“Yes, I can assure that Steven has taken his medication but I am sure you will be a better expert then I in diagnosing his condition. He will be happy to see you. I’ve heard good things.”

 _He talked about me_ , Bucky thinks, feeling taller than before. He walks a little faster, hoping to find a glimpse of his kid, of—

“…shouldn’t have,” he hears Steve mumble from the only room with an open door.

Bucky rushes over, eager to tell the next Winter Soldier and Captain story until he hears Tony grumble, “Well, you shouldn’t have gotten sick. How am I supposed to enjoy anything when you’re lying here, looking like a wrinkled up marshmallow and hacking up dead cats?”

Steve’s coughs sound like strangled laughter. “That makes no sense!”

“Made you smile, didn’t I? Now scoot over, I’ll read to you or something. _Yes_ , I can read, college degrees kind of need that, you know.”

“No,” Steve coughs, “it’s just that Bucky’s coming and we usually play superheroes…”

“Ooo, superheroes! Sweet! Much better then reading your stuff, uh, no offense. Do you have superhero names? Could I have one? I wanna be Iron Man! I bet Bruce would be Science Guy and Thor could be Mr. Luscious Locks, oh, and—”

“Well, I dunno—”

“Aw, come on, I can be an awesome superhero. Here, I’ll pitch you my tragic back story; scoot over—”

“No!” Bucky shouts. He doesn’t know when he moved into the room but he doesn’t care. Tony _can’t_ join the game. It’s _Winter Soldier and Captain America_ , it’s his and Steve’s thing. It’s, well… he stops. Stares at how comfortable Tony looks snuggled with Steve on the bed, where Bucky used to snuggled with Steve and the blankets are silk and shiny, so many layers. Even the room looks huge, with windows so long that they seem to be slices of the horizon placed next to Steve to make him feel better.

Bucky looks at them again, so angry and upset and _he doesn’t know_ but all he does know is that he can’t stand seeing Tony there and he can’t stand that he’s acting like this and Steve is looking at him, mouth half open, in shock and concern and—

Bucky bolts out the doors.

-

The thing is, Bucky’s always known that he needs Steve more than Steve needs him.

The first days of their friendship, before Bucky knew that Steve went to the same school, Bucky had been so happy to have a friend that didn’t know how alone he was in class. He hoped that Steve would never find out (because if Steve knew, then he’d be like the other kids… he’d leave.)

But three weeks later, Bucky’s jaw had dropped when he saw Steve enter his classroom with bruised skin and scratches all over.

 _What are you doing here,_ part of him wanted to say while another screamed, _no, no, don’t look at me, don’t see, don’t know_.

Of course before he could duck his head, and pretend to be invisible, Steve’s face brightened and the little shit was skipping over to sit next to him.

“Hi Bucky,” Steve said, voice wheezy.

“What the heck happened to you?!” Bucky demanded, barely able to contain the whisper.

Steve barely glanced at the bruises on his wrists, “Ah, someone was beating up a cat. S’okay though, Mittens got away.”

“ _Mittens?!_ ” that is so not the point, “ _What about you?!_ ”

“Uh—”

“Mrs. Carter,” Bucky shot his hand up, while grabbing Steve with the other, “I have to take Steve to the nurse, he hasn’t been disinfected!”

His classmates started to whisper and point, things like ‘boys shouldn’t be holding hands’ and ‘Barnes is so weird’ or ‘another weirdo for Barnes then’ or ‘it’s that sick kid.’ Mrs. Carter told them sternly to be quiet but her eyes were kind when she gave them permission to go.

Bucky tightened his grip, pulling Steve along and refused to look at him until they were out in the hall.

“What are you doing here?!” Bucky hissed.

“I go to school here,” Steve said happily, “I guess we were never in the same class before, isn’t this great, Bucky?”

“Well…”

“Oh, I guess we should get to the nurse’s. Wouldn’t want to get ya in trouble with Mrs. Carter. She seems nice but teachers don’t tend to care too much once they see how much I get sick—”

“Don’t you care?” Bucky spit out.

Steve stopped, looking like a kicked puppy.

“You can’t… look, Stevie, you can’t hang out with me at school. Everyone in class, they…”

“ _So?_ ”

Bucky looked up.

He’s never thought of someone so small as _tall_ before, but seeing Steve’s firm frown and little fists kissed with scars, he could see someone that could change the world.

“I don’t like bullies,” Steve said simply. “But I like _you_.”

“I… you… _huh_ ,” Bucky spluttered like a fish on dry land.

Steve rolled his eyes, “Come on, jerk,” he tugged Bucky down the hall.

Maybe, in that moment, that’s when Bucky started thinking of Steve as _hero_ instead of just friend.

(And maybe, decades from now, Bucky could say that’s when he knew he loved the punk.)

-

He doesn’t know where he’s going (is Stark’s mansion like a maze or something? Damn rich people!) All he knows is that he doesn’t want to see Steve’s face when Steve decides that Tony is a better friend then Bucky is. He _can’t_. Steve is his best friend, Steve is, is—

Wheezing and running after him, looking like he’ll collapse any moment.

“You idiot!” Bucky grabs him, forces him to sit down on the floor and take slow breaths. “What are you _doing_?”

Steve coughs into his sleeve in coarse, ragged gasps. “What… does it… look like… I’m doing… jerk?”

“Running yourself into an early grave?” Bucky scowls. “Jeez, Steve, don’t scare me like that.”

That’s the wrong thing to say because Steve (weakly) punches him in the shoulder. “Me? How about _you_? Why’d you run off like that? I had to tell Tony not to call the cops—he’s weird like that—and you wouldn’t even stop when I called you!”

“I…” Damn, he can’t look Steve in the face when Steve has that watery eye thing going, “I just…”

Steve presses his forehead against Bucky’s shoulder. “Look… can you just… talk to me? I feel like you’re so far away. On a different planet or something. Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?”

“ _No!_ ” Bucky pulls Steve towards him so that they’re staring face to face. “ _Never_. I’m just being stupid. Thinking stupid things. I just…”

“…Just what?”

Bucky tries to speak. He does. But his lips won’t move.

“…Buck?”

He looks away.

“Is it… are you mad at Tony?”

For a moment, Bucky considers lying. He doesn’t want Steve to see this ugly part of him. But… Steve deserves to know why Bucky’s being such an ass and they don’t tell lies to each other. Never.

He nods, throat tight with frustration.

“But…” Steve looks truly confused, “why? I mean, Tony’s obnoxious and insensitive sometimes but he’s a nice guy once you get to know him—”

“ _I just don’t like him playing superheroes with you okay_!”

This is it. The ugly truth. Might as well rant the whole thing out while he’s still in Steve’s good graces.

“It’s just… Captain America and Winter Soldier… that’s _our_ thing. And I like… well I like that. Tony Stark… he’s so rich and cool… why would you want to play with me when you’ve got _him_?”

That’s it. Steve’s gonna hate him now, gonna walk up and leave. But Steve says nothing. Bucky’s too scared to look at him and the silence, god, the silence could be an ocean filling up the room—

“You’re… an idiot,” Steve throws his arms around him. “But that’s okay. So am I.”

Bucky’s brain halts, thoughts colliding into each other as all he notices is Steve in his arms, still warm and still _there_.

“You’re my best friend, Buck. _Best_ friend. Not Tony. _You._ Do you think anyone else could come up with something as awesome as the Winter Soldier? No, just you. Captain America wouldn’t exist with you.I’d never play without you,” Steve whispers against Bucky’s shoulder.

“I…” Bucky slowly leans in against Steve’s hair, like a tired bird coming home, “Sorry.”

“Me too,” Steve mumbles, “Should have noticed you were feeling sad. M’really sorry, Buck.”

They stay like that for a while, breathing the other in and letting tears dry.

-

“Thank you,” Steve said once, after he’d vomited too many times from the stomach flu and Bucky stayed by his side, whispering stories about Cap and Soldier investigating a magic school for orphans.

Bucky had turned red but waved the compliment away. “It’s nothing. Just some awesome words for an awesome guy.”

But Steve’s hand was tight against his.

“No, really, just… thank you,” Steve stared down at the carpet. “I don’t think… Trying to get through the next germ is just so… _hard_. You… you make it easier for me to want to pull through. _Thank you_. I’m so glad you’re here.”

He drifted off to sleep then but Bucky lingered by his side for the rest of the night, gently brushing fingers against Steve’s brow.

-

“So… you won’t hang out with Tony Stark anymore?” Bucky asks hopefully.

“Ha, ha,” Steve says sarcastically, “no. Tony’s _really_ not that bad once you get used to him. Actually, you should talk to him. He kind of reminds me of you sometimes.”

“No way!”

“ _Bucky_ ,” Steve sighs in the way that makes Bucky feel like he’s drowned all the puppies in the world.

“Alright fine, but I’m not gonna like it.”

Neither does Tony, apparently.

By the time Bucky and Steve make it back to the guest room, Tony is pacing and ranting on his phone to some Bruce person about saving their Steve’s virtue (excuse _you_ , Stark) and Steve, the brat, leaves them alone in the room together.

They spend a good ten minutes just glowering at each other.

“Right, well, I have no idea why Steve decided to leave me with you but if you’ve got nothing to say then I’m outta here,” Tony marches to the door.

“Wait,” Bucky says.

Tony crosses his arms.

“I’m… sorry,” never have such words been so painful in Bucky’s life. “I shouldn’t have been…”

“Rude? Stand-offish? Abrupt? I got a thesaurus and I’m not afraid to use it.”

“ _Jealous_ , alright?” Bucky scowls. “I like Steve a lot, you jerk, and I’m not used to him having other friends. There. Go ahead and laugh.”

Predictably, Tony does exactly that.

“Are you _kidding me_?” Tony snorts. “I’m the one who should be jealous of _you_.”

Wait what?

“You’re all he talks about! _Bucky says this_ and _Bucky says that_. Whatever you did to get in Steve’s good graces, I want some of that. Do you have any idea how hard it was to get him to smile when I first met him? Dad’s always bragging about Steve like he’s some angel (probably has a thing for Sarah, don’t tell Steve I said that) and at first I hated the kid but once you meet him… it’s like how can you _not_ like him?!

“And he never smiled that once, except around his mom, when I first met him. But after meeting you, he just… kind of _glows_. Geez, you have no idea how much I hate and love you for that,” Tony shakes his head. “But you being jealous of _me_? Over Steve? Wow, that’s a first. Practically a compliment.”

“You…” Bucky doesn’t know whether to smile or frown, “are weird.”

“Thanks,” Tony claps him on the shoulder. “You too. Hey, wanna see if Steve’s well enough to play Avengers with us?”

“Avengers? What’s that?”

“Well,” Tony opens the door, “a cool role playing group I made up with Bruce. We’ve got a few members like Romanoff and Barton, Thor (everyone loves Thor), Loki (such a creepy kid, don’t tell Thor I said that) and…” Tony rambles on.

Bucky doesn’t know if he likes him or not but at least he knows who Steve’s favourite is. Maybe Steve is right, Tony’s not that bad.

-

Nope, Bucky scowls as he watches Tony tackle Steve to the ground every chance he can get while they play Avengers, Tony is the enemy.

But, he thinks, as Steve runs over to Bucky later with a water bottle, at least Steve chooses _him_ just as he’ll always choose Steve.


End file.
